Broken
by LeaXIII
Summary: "I think I might know a way to help you. I don't know if it's the best idea, but...I don't want you to be gone like this forever." I don't want to be alone again. (Post-Entry 72. Written for mhficweek13.)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

* * *

I drive all night, too afraid to stop.

Surprisingly, I'm not the least bit tired, even as the sky starts to light up with the first hints of dawn. I decide that it might be because of the weird time-warping bullshit that apparently happened in that basement.

Jay is silent, almost worryingly so. On more than one occasion, his eyes are closed when I look over at him, and I nearly run off the road a few times because I have to stare for a few seconds to make sure he's still breathing.

_This was a terrible idea,_ I think, casting a concerned glance at Jay as he coughs a few times in his sleep. _I don't know what we thought we'd find in that house, but a few crappy drawings were _not_ worth all of this._

For the millionth time since we sped away from Alex's old house, the scenario plays over again in my head. The terror of seeing that _thing_ again. The inescapable panic of realizing that Jay was no longer following behind me. The ice-cold dread upon finally finding him, writhing on the ground, completely defenseless against that _thing_ which was suddenly only a few feet away. The rush of defying it, refusing to run away any longer. And the confusion that came with its sudden disappearance. _Why exactly did that happen, anyway?_

I shake my head, trying to clear it. _One thing at a time. For now, the best thing is to get as far away from that place as possible_. I repeat the words over and over again in my mind, trying to convince myself that I'm making the right decision in going back to my hometown.

_After all, Jay will want to upload this footage as soon as possible, and when Alex sees it, we don't want to be anywhere near that house. If he thinks we might still be in that area, that'll be the first place he goes, and that town is small enough that just randomly running into him one day is a distinct possibility. One that we can't risk. So, even if we will be much closer to Rosswood Park than I'd like to be..._

Glancing at the clock, I notice that it's time to take another pill. I grab the orange prescription bottle from where I'd placed it in the cup holder and twist the cap off with one hand. _I'm getting better at this,_ I note somewhat bitterly; I've had plenty of practice on this trip alone. Leaning forward and keeping the steering wheel straight with my forearms, I shake a single pill into my hand and swallow it dry, stifling a small cough and grimacing slightly at the taste.

"Hey." Jay's voice breaks the silence suddenly, almost uncomfortably loud in the small space of the car. I hadn't even realized he was awake again.

"Yeah?" I twist the cap back on the pill bottle and put it back in the cup holder. I glance over at Jay to see him staring at the camera in his hands, an unreadable expression on his face.

"It's not recording," he says blankly. Then, with a sudden urgency, he looks up at me, his eyes wide with horror. "The camera isn't recording!"

I take a quick peek at the camera, and I can see that the screen is still lit up, meaning the battery isn't dead. "The tape must've run out," I mutter. "There's more in the trunk..."

"The trunk?!" Jay all but screams. "Why aren't there any more tapes in_ here_?!" He twists around in his seat, reaching frantically for the backseat, as if a blank tape will suddenly appear out of thin air back there.

"Wait, just calm down! There's a rest area coming up in a couple of miles. I'll stop there, and we can change the tape then, okay?"

Jay doesn't answer. Instead, his right hand is suddenly shoving against my shoulder as he twists himself into a rather uncomfortable-looking position in order to dig through the pocket on the back of my seat.

"Hey, quit it! I'm trying to drive!" I shrug him off of me.

He responds by unbuckling his seat belt and starting to climb into the backseat.

"No, Jay, stop!" With one hand, I grab the back of his shirt and pull him back down into his seat, grateful for the lack of traffic as I try to keep from swerving all over the road.

He jerks his shirt out of my grip and moves to try climbing over the seat again.

Still trying to keep my eyes on the road – _this is getting ridiculous!_ – I shove a hand against his chest, perhaps a bit harder than I actually meant to, pressing him back against the seat. "Put your seat belt on, right now," I say, trying to make my voice as commanding as possible.

Jay stops struggling. I glance at him, expecting a look of stubborn defiance. Instead, I'm surprised to find that he actually looks _afraid_ of me.

I let out a frustrated sigh and try to soften my voice a little, my hand still pressing him into his seat. "Look, we are _one mile_ away from a rest stop," I nod toward a blue sign ahead, "so just calm down. I promise, you can go one mile without filming. I _promise_, everything will be absolutely fine for one more mile, as long as you just stay calm. Okay?"

After a few more seconds of tense silence, Jay finally reaches for his seat belt, and I move my hand to let him re-buckle it. For the next mile, he just stares down at the camera in his lap, not making a single move until I park the car in the rest area.

"I'll get the tapes," I say, popping the trunk. Jay takes off his seat belt, but doesn't make any move to exit the car.

I grab a pack of tapes from the trunk and bring them to Jay, who quickly changes the tape in the camera and starts recording without comment. His face is as blank as the remaining tapes in the package, which he carefully tucks into the glove compartment.

"I'm gonna go grab a couple drinks from the vending machines over there," I tell him, gesturing behind me. "Are you hungry at all? Do you wanna get out and stretch or anything?"

He shakes his head, staring down at his feet.

"...Okay. Well, just stay right here then, and I'll be right back." I close the door and walk to the vending machines, glancing over my shoulder to make sure he's actually staying put.

_Maybe he's just really tired._ I scoff at myself for even entertaining such a stupid thought. We could never be that lucky, to have such a simple problem.

I go back to the car and hand Jay a bottle of water, then lean back against the car next to the open passenger door, taking a long drink of my own water. After briefly surveying the area and deciding that we're probably safe here for a few minutes, I seize the opportunity to light a much-needed cigarette and relax for a moment.

"Where are we?" Jay asks slowly, staring listlessly at the unopened bottle in his hand.

"Uh..." I look around, but decide against walking all the way over to the small building where a map would probably be. "Good question." I check the time on my phone and try to remember how long I've been driving. "Probably about...300 miles from Alex's old house."

Jay's expression doesn't change. "Alex...?" He turns the name into a question, his voice still nearly monotone.

I try to swallow around the tightness in my throat as I finally realize what's going on with him. "What's the last thing you remember before this?" I ask, prepared to help him fill in the gaps in his memory, hoping that will make him feel at least a little bit better.

He doesn't answer.

I step closer to him uncertainly. "Jay?"

He looks up. There's the tiniest hint of fear in his eyes, the only observable emotion on his otherwise blank face.

"Is...that...my name?"

* * *

From across the room, I watch Jay's face as he sleeps. His expression is peaceful, and I can only hope his dreams are the same.

It's been two weeks since we passed the city limit sign near the edge of Rosswood Park. When we first arrived in town, I tried to take Jay straight to the hospital. However, as soon as I told him where we were going, he opened the door and would've jumped out of the car if I hadn't managed to get a firm grip on his arm. Even if he couldn't remember any details, he was sure that _something_ was after him, and he seemed convinced that it would be able to find him if we went anywhere near a hospital.

So, finding myself with no other options, I found a cheap motel and checked us in. I had already decided it wouldn't be the best idea to go to my house. If any of the numerous parties searching for us should harbor any suspicions that we might be back in this area, my house would be the first place they'd look.

Luckily, I still have a pretty substantial amount of money saved up from back when I was still working. Hopefully, it should be enough to last however long we need to stay here. _Hopefully, it won't be too much longer._

My thoughts are interrupted by a choked scream from Jay.

He bolts upright in his bed, eyes wide, and claws at his sheets, gasping for air, like he's being strangled.

Routine quickly takes over, and I get up and go to the chair I placed next to his bed.

"Jay, it's okay. You're okay, it was just a dream," I repeat, over and over, until he finally believes me.

"What...what happened? Who are you?" he asks, cringing away from the hand I try to put on his shoulder. "Where am I?"

I give him the bare-bones explanation of his situation, reciting the words like a well-rehearsed speech. Really, I guess it is pretty rehearsed at this point; I've been repeating these same words to Jay several times a day, every time he wakes up, disoriented and terrified and unable to remember even his own name.

As I finish speaking, I watch his eyes for any signs of real comprehension, wondering if any of this is actually sinking in, if maybe this time he'll actually remember some of this the next time he wakes up. Either way, Jay only holds my gaze for a few more seconds before turning away, nodding blankly. He lays back down, pulling the blanket up to his chin and rolling over so his back is facing me.

With a small sigh, I go back to the other chair, which is sitting in front of the door to the room, and pull a blanket over myself, attempting to get comfortable.

I decided that I needed to block the door after the first night we stayed here, when I'd walked out of the bathroom to find the door wide open and Jay stumbling into the parking lot. Since then, this uncomfortable chair has become my bed, where I allow myself to catch a few hours of sleep at a time.

I look at the clock on the nightstand. Sighing again, I pull my pill bottle out of my pocket and take one, not bothering to get up and grab a drink. As I'm about to stuff the bottle back in my pocket, I stop, a thought suddenly occurring to me.

_Right before I found Jay, I took two of these. Right before I found that _thing_. What if _that's_ the reason I was able to get so close to it? Could that have been why it disappeared?_

I stare at the small orange bottle in fascination. _It kind of makes sense,_ I decide. _And if these things can offer any kind of protection against that thing, and they kept me from losing my memories..._

I look up as Jay starts coughing, quietly at first, then louder and more violently until he finally has to sit up, gasping for air once again. I get up, go over to him, and tentatively place a hand on his back, trying to comfort him.

When the coughing finally stops, he looks up at me, his eyes distant, almost like he's in some kind of trance.

"Jay, do you remember me?" I ask, searching for any sign of recognition in those eyes. "It's me, Tim."

He just stares back, unresponsive.

"Listen, I think...I think I might know a way to help you. I don't really know if it's the best idea, but..." I stare down at the pill bottle in my hand, then turn back to Jay. "You're not getting better, and...I don't want you to be gone like this forever." My throat feels thick with a sudden flood of emotion. _I don't want to be alone again._

Jay blinks.

Clearing my throat, I open the bottle and shake a pill into my hand, then offer it to Jay. He pinches it between his finger and thumb, stares at it for a moment, apparently at a loss for what to do. I pick up his bottle of water from the nightstand and offer it to him as well.

He stares up at me, his expression just barely changing to something like confusion.

"Can you swallow the medicine, Jay?" I ask, pointing at the little white pill, just in case he's not sure what I'm talking about.

He blinks once, then takes the pill without hesitation, apparently unaffected by the bitter taste. He stares at the bottle of water for a few moments before deciding to take a small drink, then sets it down on the nightstand and stares up at me expectantly.

"Um...do you...feel any different?" I ask hesitantly.

No response.

_Even if it does work, it's not going to be instant, _I remind myself. "Uh, I guess...you can just go ahead and go back to sleep now, if you want," I tell Jay.

Obediently, he lets his head fall back against the pillow, and his breathing becomes slow and even almost immediately.

I go back to my chair, suddenly realizing how tired I am. I briefly consider attempting to stay awake to see if the pill does have any effect, but some part of my mind reminds me that it's kind of unhealthy to keep believing in hopeless dreams like this.

I close my eyes and exhale deeply.

_It was worth a try. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Somewhere in the middle of the night, I flinch awake, instantly becoming aware of a dark figure standing right beside me.

I fumble with the flashlight in my lap, turn it on, and point it up at the figure's face.

Jay jumps backwards with a cry of surprise, closing his eyes against the sudden light.

"Oh my God, Jay," I breathe, drowning in relief. I throw the blanket off of myself, stand, and turn on the light.

Camera in hand, Jay backs into a corner, stuttering in confusion. "Who...what's going on? Where am I?" He actually seems more alert than usual, and I decide to take this as a good sign.

"Calm down. It's me, Tim. Do you remember me?" I ask hopefully.

Unsurprisingly, Jay's wary expression doesn't change, and I try to ignore the feeling of disappointment and slight bit of hurt that coils itself in my chest.

I quickly fill Jay in on our current location, and, amazingly, recognition dawns in his eyes when I mention the name of the town.

"Do you...remember who _you _are?" I ask awkwardly, trying not to get my hopes up again.

"Um, yeah," Jay says, his eyes squinting at the question, like it's the weirdest thing anyone has ever asked him. "I just... What am I doing here?"

_He actually remembers something, _I think, allowing myself to sink back into the chair with an overwhelming sense of relief. _Even if he's not completely back to normal, he's better. Does that mean the medication actually worked? _

"We, uh, kind of ran into some trouble, and you've been pretty out of it since then." I shift a bit uncomfortably before asking the next question. "What exactly do you remember? Leading up to now?"

Jay sits down on the bed, rubbing at his eyes, which are still staring at me somewhat distrustfully. "Um. I'm not...entirely sure. Everything kind of feels like a really bad dream. I just...got up because I had this weird feeling that something might be outside," he says.

I follow his uneasy gaze to the window. Slowly, I get up and pull back the curtain so I can look outside. To my relief, there doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary in the parking lot. I turn back to Jay. "When you say 'something'...what exactly do you mean?" Every other time he's woken up, he hasn't been able to remember much of anything at all, including the apparently supernatural being that's been following him for nearly four years.

"I..." Jay looks down at the camera in his lap. "I was afraid it was Alex."

_Alex. He remembers Alex. _

I sit back down. "You're afraid of Alex finding you?"

He looks up uncertainly. "Yeah. I mean, I think he used to be my friend, but...in my dream, he was after me. I think he wanted to kill me. I can't remember why, but I just...I know that I don't want him to find me."

I nod. Taking a deep breath, I switch into explanation mode, filling him in on everything that's been going on the past few years, everything he can't remember.

Jay doesn't respond, beyond interrupting to ask an occasional question or two. When I finally finish, he exhales loudly, rubbing his eyes.

"I don't want to believe any of it. I really don't," he says, running a hand through his hair. "But...it sounds way too familiar to not be true. And I remember...I remember something about the entries. I remember that I need to record everything, and I remember posting stuff on Youtube and Twitter, I just...couldn't remember why."

He's silent for a few more minutes. "You said we went to Alex's old house?"

"Yeah. That's kinda the last thing we did before ending up...here."

"...How long ago was that?"

I check the date on my phone. "About...two weeks ago, I think."

Jay blinks once, running his hand through his hair again. "The video from that...is it uploaded?"

"Yeah," I assure him. In one of his fleeting moments of consciousness before he had started waking up with amnesia after every instance of sleep, Jay insisted on posting Entry 72 shortly after we got to the motel.

"Should probably tweet something," Jay says, getting up. He looks around, presumably for his laptop, but the way he sways rather dizzily makes me nervous. "Let everyone know we're all right..."

"Jay, are you okay?" I ask, standing and stepping toward him.

Suddenly, his knees give out underneath him.

"Jay!" I rush forward to catch him and just barely manage to keep his head from smashing into the floor.

He groans loudly as I pull him up and onto the bed. I sit him back down where he was before and hold him by the shoulders.

"Are you okay? What's wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?" I ask, trying to look in his eyes.

He brings a hand to his face. "I feel weird..." he mumbles. He holds his hand out to look at it, and I can't breathe for a moment when I see that there's now blood on his fingers.

"Jay, look at me."

Slowly, he obeys. My heart jumps into my throat; for no apparent reason, Jay's nose is bleeding.

"Hang on." After ensuring that he isn't going to fall over as soon as I let go of him, I run to the bathroom and grab a roll of toilet paper. Kneeling in front of Jay, I quickly wipe away the blood that's accumulating on his face and shirt.

"The camera..." Jay says, pointing behind me. I turn to pick up the still-recording camera from where it was dropped and set it on the dresser before turning my attention back to Jay.

"Here." I hand him a piece of toilet paper to hold under his nose. "Pinch right here," I tell him, pointing to a spot right above his nostrils. He obeys, and starts to lean his head back. "No no no, lean forward," I say quickly.

"But I thought..."

"Trust me, I used to get nosebleeds when I was a kid. You definitely shouldn't lean back."

"Oh..." Jay leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He closes his eyes, and I wonder if he's still dizzy. "...'m gonna be sick," he says suddenly.

_Crap._ I get up, snatch the small trash can by the door, and hand it to him, turning away as he retches violently.

_This is different,_ I note, fighting a wave of my own nausea, fueled by worry and no small amount of guilt. _Is this because of the medication? Did I do this to him? _

"Sorry," Jay says, setting the trash can down.

"Don't apologize," I tell him, trying not to cringe as a fresh wave of guilt washes over me. "Keep holding that spot on your nose. It should stop bleeding in a few minutes."

He obeys, rubbing his eye with his left hand. "Can you bring me my laptop?" he asks after a short while, his speech slurring slightly.

"Don't worry about that right now," I say, offering him a bottle of water. "We can take care of it later. Those people can wait a little longer."

For a few seconds, Jay seems to consider arguing with me, but he appears to be too tired to bother. "Well, can you at least bring me something to write on, so I can give you the passwords in case you need to post anything?"

I find a pen and notepad on the nightstand and hand them to Jay, who slowly scrawls the Youtube and Twitter passwords with his left hand. He hands the paper to me, then tentatively lets go of his nose. "I don't think I'm bleeding anymore," he says, "but I'm still feeling kinda dizzy."

I kneel in front of him again, making absolutely sure that his nose has indeed stopped bleeding. "Okay, go ahead and just lie down for a while."

Jay flops back onto the bed without hesitation and falls asleep almost instantly. With a sigh, I pull a blanket over him and sit back down in front of the door.

I take one of my pills and stare at the bottle for a long while before finally allowing myself to drift into a restless sleep.


End file.
